All at Once
Our family’s story began as if it was a fairytale in the making. My husband and I met as neighbors whose backyards were behind each other. We had our first conversation from across the fence, and he later asked me on our first date. Our dates would end with him walking me to the fence which I climbed over to go back home. It was beautiful. We were married in the backyards where we met a year after we first talked. We wanted to start our family quickly since we were both a little older, and were pregnant a few months after the wedding! We were hoping for twins.
Unfortunately, we didn’t get the chance to share the happy announcement. At about the eighth week of pregnancy I noticed some spotting and went to have it checked. We went to the ER and that is when we learned that we had twins. We did not receive any reassurance however, and were told that the bleeding could be normal or the beginning of a miscarriage. We were happy to hear about our twins but devastated at the prospect of losing them. We prayed and were sent home. Before the night was over, we knew what the outcome would be. Losing the twins that night was the most traumatic thing we had ever experienced. We were stunned, heartbroken, angry, and empty all at once.
We later went through the process of telling our loved ones that we “were” pregnant. To make things even worse, my mother fell very sick and was hospitalized. She ended up going to skilled nursing care, then living with us for three months. So grieving stopped and care giving began. Without proper time and space to truly grieve and the added stress of a new and demanding job, things got pretty dark. Joe was such a pillar of strength helping to care for me and my mom while dealing with his own grief. Through lots of prayer, crying, talking and love from others, we made it through that time. Even when God seemed so far away, we knew there had to be a better plan than the sadness that we were living in. We continued attending the services at Radiant and God ministered to our hearts. We shared our story with a few people at church and people prayed over us.
We knew that it was part of God’s plan for us to be parents. We had talked about it before getting married, and we still wanted to have our own children and also to adopt. We decided to try again but could not get pregnant naturally. We started fertility treatment and were overjoyed to finally get pregnant again, but unfortunately we lost that pregnancy also. We decided to try IVF, but it was not an easy road. There were side effects and debilitating pain, but it was worth it to become parents. We ended up with only one viable egg to implant. Again, our hopes were dashed when this little one did not make it, and we decided to stop treatment.
After seeking God’s direction, we began the process to become adoptive parents. It is a long and involved process but we are eager to give a baby a home. After getting all of the paperwork done and all of the fees paid, we were on the waiting list!
After only a month or so on the waiting list, Joe asked if we should try again one more time. I said sure, thinking nothing of it. To our surprise, I was already pregnant when we were having that discussion! We decided to rejoice in this pregnancy no matter how long it would last. We went ahead and shared the news with close family members and even got to tell my mother before she passed away. To the glory of God, this one made it! After a very long and scary labor, and an emergency c-section, Joseph Anthony Jr. was born. He was a healthy and perfect miracle.
We still plan to adopt, as that is part of God’s plan for our lives. We learned so much about God and how He is at work even in our darkest moments and in our saddest places. We truly saw Him give beauty for ashes in our marriage and in our growing family. He is faithful.
Do you feel your story can serve as a hope and inspiration to others? Contact us at mystory@radiant.church.